NML, I do that attracting very young men may be very indicative of being unavailable, especially if I do not consider men my own age (not true, but difficult). Because when we deeply listen we know what is right for us and what is not. Those of you who’ve read my ebook Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, or my personal blog, or this blog for long enough will know that when I became aware that I was the only recurring character in my own very annoying soap opera, I realised that I had some lessons to learn. Well, it suits our hidden agenda of, for example, hiding from our fear of commitment or rejection. Seriously, ladies, this is all pretty awesome advice. If you are not receiving those things in the bedroom, there’s a good chance that your partner is not actually listening to your body, prioritizing your needs, or listening to you in the dance of intimacy. Its like I have acknowledged that I am a “grown up” and I can make my own decisons. I did not speak up when something made me question WTF! One career perk of coaching is the opportunity to experience unique bits and pieces from life I might otherwise have never been exposed to. @Wandering Ivy Amen, amen, amen! Those who are honest about what’s happened in the past are the most effective at learning and adapting in the future. Your availability is about making sure that you are emotionally available and not carrying stuff that may be causing conflicts where you may look for partners that provide reasons for relationships not to work. While everyone’s path is different, walking with people day-to-day reminds me that there are common themes in our lives that rise to the top no matter what we’re striving for. I mean, it's just funny to me that we go to school for so long, and we're taught everything there is to know about the Revolutionary War and obtuse angles, but nobody bothers teaching us how to make a lasting relationship work. One of the things that I’ve noticed is that Professor Life is always trying to get our attention. Relationship advice is best tailored based on love astrology and the personality traits of the twelve zodiac signs. When I read “if heâ€™s a liar and talks a good game without very much action, youâ€™re into illusions and denial” it was like a ton of bricks hit me, that was me. These are all the elements of a happy and healthy relationship. The Government announcement to introduce RSE to all secondary schools, and relationship education to all primary schools is very welcome. The hardest part to overcome has been the coulda shoulda woulda have said or done if only if only my head was not up my a**. I did not have boundaries. - Jordan Madison, LGMFT. - Toni Coleman, LCSW, "Donât be critical and donât give advice unless your partner asks for it. I'm in my first real relationship, and you know what? I eventually learned that even though saying no might make me feel uncomfortable or disappointed in the short term, accepting it allowed me to be open to something else I could say yes to further down the line. @ Loving Annie- I completely agree with your statement about the self-esteem stuff… Personally, this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. #selflove #selfcare #baggagereclaim #selfworthquotes #expressyourself #boundaries #healthyboundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #selfcarequotes #expressyourself #trustyourself #listentoyourgut #listentoyourbody #takecareofyourself #takecareofyou ... Narcissists *always* overplay their hand. The more you realise you can trust yourself to filter out the dodgy partners, the more confident you can be about recognising and enjoying a great partner when they come along. Not only was he EUM, he was emotionally abusive in a passive way (always my fault because of X), a cheater, liar, very charming, blew hot and cold – classis narsac. - Jordan Madison, LGMFT, "Happy relationships feel comfortable. that being ‘good’ and striving to be ‘perfect’ is the route to not only getting what you want but also being *worthy* of it. These therapist-approved philosophies will help you achieve relationship success, and perhaps help you find your soulmate â no matter your age. Swallow your damn pride. [However,] the spender sees himself or herself as wisely using money to live a happy life. When you think about some of the things you're still hard on you about and that shape what you allow you to be, do and have or what you avoid, it's like you've been serving a lifetime sentence. Let's Stop Being Lazy About Communication. You stop taking other people’s feelings and behaviour, as well as life not always going your way, less personally. Maybe, we've learned to criticise or silence aspects of ourselves because we were shamed about them as a child and made to think they were wrong. I talk about why no isn't a dirty word on the current episode (199) of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions. Why? However, do not be so focused on what your partner could be, that you are ignoring what they are showing you right now." If saying yes to something means that you’re going to have to self-medicate to anaesthetise feelings of shame, resentment and powerlessness, or you’re going to have to spend weeks or even months untangling yourself in therapy, you need to say no. I had to look way back when to find the abandonment trauma I repeatedly experienced growing up. I’ve felt confused when sometimes there’s presence and care, and sometimes it’s nowhere to be found.
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